Top 5 Heartbreak Songs
This Is My Rock & Roll Love Letter After It’s Gone
Head over feet, I was deeply in love and would have worked through anything to have the relationship I believed we had. She was confused, always one foot just far enough out to find her escape whenever she needed. She could never commit proclaiming there was something missing, yet always staying. I always welcomed her back.
We had not seen each other in over 8 months. The most recent breakup before where we are now, I made a decision to move myself back to Isla Mujeres. I secured myself an apartment, booked a flight and was ready to move on. Except... the now ex partner wavered and we resumed our COVID 19 forced long distance relationship.
Fast forward... She was meeting me on Isla to figure it out once and for all. This time it felt different. This time we really were going to go our separate ways. Our journey together was ending. We would spend the month of October saying good bye, caught in the stalemate of wanting different things. This went back and forth, including a trip together to Toronto, before finally ending early April!
It Must Have Been Love - Roxette
… but it’s over now!
This top 5 list kicks off in a place where I know both of us lived. What Tara and I had was definitely love. From that first touch until the very last. It must have been the most incredible love of my life, that is for sure. The type of love I feel deep in my bones. However when one person is not fully there, you have to let go and journey down a different road. While it is most difficult to accept, for you Tara, it was time for you to …
Go Your Own Way - Fleetwood Mac
How can I ever change things that I feel
Ironic that a Fleetwood Mac song would be on this list. But the song, appropriately enough describes the situation. We have to go our own ways. The journey has come to a stalemate and finally, a place where there is no other choice but to be apart. This was one of the most painful breakups I have ever experienced. It was so profoundly sad. Tara was my best friend, the person who lifted me up constantly and made me a better person. A muse who encouraged me to pursue my artistic side, to feel confidence in being me. Too bad she did not connect with who I truly was.. despite that time and again I said…
I Can’t Quit You Baby - Led Zeppelin
You build my hopes so high then baby you let me down so low
This is the crux of the relationship for me. I just cannot seem to find a way to quit you Tara. Every single time you leave, it cuts so deep, and every time you come back, well it builds my hopes up so damn high! You and I we were a happy home. Each others person. But I am going to let go! I am grateful beyond words for the time we shared together, for the gifts she gave me, her understanding, compassion and most importantly for showing me how much I could be loved. Sometimes I guess in love you need to….
Fall To Pieces - Velvet Revolver
…every time Im falling down, all alone I fall to pieces!
It was this song or Paul Young’s Every Time You Go Away! This song found the spot because of the dark pain experienced within the song. The best way to represents the pain in my heart. As though my chest has been ripped open time and again, sewn shut each time with empty words. The rusty old blade and needle that is trying to mend a wound so deep. It depicts the fragility of healing, a heart pretending to be not really be broken, merely on hiatus! Then you are alone in the quiet of the day, you crave a bottle of Don Julio to numb the pain all over again. Because the truth is I cannot seem to live right now…
With or Without You - U2
Through the storm, we reach the shore, You give it all but I want more
Two together has become one, SoloSam! Alone now for the first time in almost 6 years. It feels almost deafeningly quiet here in my room, the empty bed beside me a reminder that I wake up alone now. Not wanting to be with someone who could leave, giving them self away with every touch, every kiss and every moment we shared together. Unable to see, I know I am unable to continue to be with you… Except… I cannot seem to live right now without you. Stuck! Stuck in a moment of wonderful years spent together with you! Shared memories I cannot erase, a future where I still wish could see you there!
